Military life presents unique challenges to relationships. Frequent deployments, relocations, and demanding work schedules place immense pressure on Airmen and their families. Recognizing these stressors, the Air Force has invested in resources like the Air Force Marriage Care Program to bolster the well-being of its personnel and strengthen their marriages. This program, exemplified by a recent retreat hosted by the 353rd Special Operations Group (SOG) at Ie Island, Okinawa, Japan, offers tailored support to military couples seeking to build stronger, more resilient relationships.
Captain Craig Nakagawa, 353rd SOG chaplain, highlights the program’s significance: “The Air Force recognizes the shared stress experienced by military couples and much like the other branches of service, they have invested in programs to help Airmen develop healthy relationships at home. Marriage Care takes the best of all the marriage counseling programs out there and consolidates it into a weekend retreat.” This intensive format allows couples to immerse themselves in relationship-building exercises away from the distractions of daily military life.
Inside the Air Force Marriage Care Retreat
The Marriage Care retreat, structured over a weekend, is thoughtfully designed to cover crucial aspects of marital relationships. The 353rd SOG retreat, for instance, was divided into four thematic sessions: “I take you,” “to have and to hold,” “for better or for worse,” and “to love and to cherish.” These sessions delve into common challenges faced by couples, such as understanding emotional baggage and fostering effective communication. Participants learn practical techniques for positive communication and explore various approaches to apology and forgiveness – essential elements for navigating marital conflicts and fostering deeper connection.
Capt. Nakagawa emphasized the retreat’s immersive nature: “This weekend we have 14 couples from across different squadrons practicing relationship-building skills, while also sharing intimate moments at this beautiful island resort. Military couples come to this off-base retreat in civilian dress without uniform or rank. We want the couples to focus on communication, forgiveness and other skills without any outside distractions from work or home.” By removing the professional and everyday contexts, the program creates a space for couples to focus solely on their relationship.
While the Air Force Chaplain Corps has a history of providing individual marriage counseling, the Marriage Care retreat adopts a proactive, group-based approach. It empowers couples to proactively enhance their relationships using tools and insights gained during interactive classroom sessions. The program’s strength lies in equipping couples with preventative strategies and communication skills applicable to everyday life, rather than solely addressing crises.
Beyond the Classroom: Real-World Application
The retreat extends beyond structured sessions, encouraging couples to apply their learning immediately. Capt. Nakagawa notes, “Sometimes couples are disappointed that the classroom sessions aren’t longer because they’ve reached a breakthrough and want to keep the conversation going. I tell them that the lasting transformation happens in the conversations outside the classroom and to take advantage the one-on-one time with their spouse.” The program facilitates lasting change by prompting couples to engage in meaningful conversations and practice newly acquired skills in a relaxed and supportive environment.
To further enhance the experience, the POTFF team integrates recreational activities. These can range from boat tours and hikes to special dinners and date nights, encouraging couples to reconnect romantically and build positive shared experiences. This balance of learning and leisure creates a holistic and memorable experience, strengthening bonds both emotionally and practically.
Master Sgt. Crystal Benitez, 17th Special Operations Squadron first sergeant, a retreat participant, attests to the program’s impact: “This marriage retreat provided so many great tools for my spouse and I to immediately implement. It was the perfect environment to address some challenges in our relationship without the outside distractions from work and home. I would highly recommend this retreat to newlyweds or couples that have been together for years.” Her testimonial underscores the program’s broad applicability and immediate benefits for military marriages at any stage.
Tailored Support for Special Operations Forces and Families
The Air Force Marriage Care Program is particularly crucial for Special Operations Forces (SOF) Airmen, who often face even greater demands and stressors. Recognizing this, the Preservation of the Force and Families (POTFF) team is embedded within the 353rd SOG to provide tailored counseling and support. This targeted approach acknowledges the unique challenges of the SOF lifestyle and ensures that resources are directly accessible and relevant to their specific needs.
Capt. Nakagawa explains the vital role of POTFF and programs like Marriage Care: “Our Commandos are meeting mission demands and finding innovative ways to do business despite the unique stressors that come with the SOF lifestyle. I truly believe the investment made in the POTFF program has enabled them to perform at this level. Our team has focused on providing programs like Marriage Care because it directly supports the resiliency of our workforce and promotes a healthy home life.” By investing in the well-being of military families, the Air Force directly enhances operational readiness and effectiveness.
POTFF, a U.S. Special Operations Command initiative, is designed to proactively address the pressures on service members and their families. It aims to maintain and improve readiness, operational effectiveness, and the overall well-being of the force in both the short and long term. The Air Force Marriage Care Program is a key component of this broader strategy, directly contributing to these goals by strengthening the foundational relationships of Air Force personnel.
Investing in Strong Military Marriages
The Air Force understands the undeniable link between healthy home lives and professional performance. As Capt. Nakagawa concludes, “The Air Force understands the link between healthy relationships at home and job performance. I’ve had couples come to me after the Marriage Care retreat saying how they were on the path towards divorce and that the lessons learned over the weekend saved their marriage. I truly feel blessed to support our military couples as they positively grow in their relationships.” The Air Force Marriage Care Program represents a significant investment in the well-being of Airmen and their families, ultimately contributing to a stronger, more resilient Air Force. This weekend retreat program, led by Air Force Family Life trained chaplains, is demonstrably effective in renewing and revitalizing military marriages, ensuring that Airmen are supported both on and off duty.
