Donna Smith is a leading expert in helping children navigate grief and loss, particularly within the framework of an Advanced Illness Care Program. Her extensive experience and compassionate approach offer invaluable support to young individuals and their families facing challenging times. At Capital Caring Health, the largest non-profit provider of elder health, advanced illness, hospice, and at-home care services in the Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, D.C. area, Smith is making a significant difference in the lives of those grappling with loss. Her work is especially crucial during times of widespread crisis, such as the recent pandemic, where grief and bereavement are amplified.
From Business to Bereavement: Donna Smith’s Path to Counseling
Donna Smith’s journey to becoming a grief counselor was sparked by personal experiences and a profound career shift. After a successful career in business, holding an accounting degree and working in human resources for small businesses, Smith experienced the loss of both her parents. This period of introspection led her to re-evaluate her professional path and pursue a more meaningful career focused on helping others. Driven by a desire to support families through loss, she transitioned into counseling, finding her calling in bereavement support.
Her path led her to The Children’s Room, a pioneering non-profit organization based in Arlington, Massachusetts, dedicated to providing grief support services to children and families up to age 19. Initially starting part-time, Smith’s dedication and expertise quickly led to her advancement. She became the program director in 2005, a role she held until 2010, and subsequently served as the executive director until 2017. During her tenure, she was instrumental in developing crucial programs like “Parenting While Grieving” and the “Teen Program,” solidifying her reputation as a leader in children’s grief support. Her leadership was recognized and celebrated by The Children’s Room team upon her departure, highlighting her significant contributions to the organization and the community it served.
Developing Specialized Programs within Advanced Illness Care
In March 2020, as the COVID-19 pandemic began to unfold, Capital Caring Health recognized the urgent need for specialized support for grieving children. They brought Donna Smith on board to develop and lead these vital programs within their existing advanced illness care program and hospice care framework. Smith emphasizes that the team-oriented structure of hospice care is ideally suited for this expanded mission, allowing for a collaborative and comprehensive approach to supporting grieving children and families.
Drawing upon her extensive experience at The Children’s Room, Smith is applying her expertise to create flexible and personalized programs at Capital Caring. A cornerstone of her approach is adapting to the unique needs of each child. She illustrates this with the story of a family who sought support at The Children’s Room after the sudden death of their father. While the family benefited from the services, their young daughter found a stronger connection with the adult mentors rather than the children’s group. Recognizing her individual needs, Smith facilitated her participation in a teen group. There, she formed a meaningful bond with an older student who had experienced a similar loss. Together, they collaborated on a theater project, a creative outlet that proved transformative for both. This experience highlights the power of personalized support within an advanced illness care program and its lasting impact on young lives. The young girl’s later pursuit of art and performance is a testament to the positive influence of this early support. Smith emphasizes the importance of community-based, sustained support services rather than time-limited interventions for truly impactful grief care.
Building Community and Fostering Communication in Grief Support
As Capital Caring’s hospice team increasingly supports children grieving the loss of family members to illnesses, including the impact of viruses, the challenges of providing effective support have grown. Creating a sense of community, essential for healing and connection, has been particularly difficult due to social distancing and the shift to virtual communication. To overcome these obstacles, the advanced illness care program has implemented innovative strategies. “Family circle times” bring multiple families together virtually, fostering a sense of shared experience and mutual support. Breakout rooms with age-appropriate activities are incorporated to engage children and facilitate peer interaction in a supportive environment.
To encourage open communication about grief and feelings, Smith and her team utilize “question balls.” These beach balls, customized for each family, are labeled with engaging and thoughtful questions about the person they have lost. Smith notes the profound impact of these simple tools, stating, “Nobody’s ever asked these questions… (it’s) amazing the discussion that comes after them.” These creative methods help families, especially children, articulate their grief in comfortable and constructive ways within the advanced illness care program.
The Strength and Wisdom of Grieving Children
A key insight Smith has gained throughout her career, particularly highlighted during the pandemic, is the inherent resilience of children in navigating grief. Children often demonstrate a remarkable ability to process and express their grief more openly than adults, who may be hindered by societal discomfort with death and loss. In a culture often described as “death avoidant,” the pandemic has amplified anxieties and avoidance behaviors around mortality. However, for Smith and her colleagues in hospice and advanced illness care, the daily realities serve as a constant reminder of life’s fragility, reinforcing their commitment to supporting families through crisis and loss.
Donna Smith finds deep meaning and fulfillment in her work. She describes it as “life affirming” and feels privileged to witness the strength and resilience of children who, after experiencing profound loss, emerge even stronger. Her personal life, enriched by her two adult children and three grandchildren, provides additional support and perspective. An avid outdoors enthusiast, she finds rejuvenation in activities like walking, running, and hiking, and enjoys exploring new interests like reading and cooking. Ultimately, it is the collaborative spirit of her team and the inspiring resilience of the children she serves within the advanced illness care program that bring her the greatest joy and purpose.
